Total Eclipse of the Heart
by Neko1
Summary: What if...? (SxS)


Title: Total Eclipse of the Heart   
  
Series: Tokyo Babylon/ X-1999 by CLAMP  
  
Author: Neko  
  
Email: sumeragi_subarukun@yahoo.de  
  
Rating: PG 13, songfic  
  
Warning: dark and angsty  
  
Disclaimer: The mentioned characters don't belong to me, neither does the song „Total Eclipse   
  
of the Heart", performed by Bonnie Tyler, Lyrics by Jim Steinman.  
  
I just wanted to warn you: the beginning of the dialogue is a complete rip off from X, and a certain   
  
scene is shamelessly taken from the movie "the crow". Please ignore my inoriginality! And maybe   
  
there a some crude expressions because I first wrote this story in my mother language German   
  
and then decided to translate it in English... ^^;;;  
  
Anyway, C &C are greatly appreciated!  
  
Dedicated to Shiun, Hokuto, Leareth and Yui!  
  
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  
  
Total Eclipse of the Heart by Neko  
  
Midnight hour had passed long ago.  
  
Sumeragi Subaru stared at the ceiling of his darkened room.   
  
During the daytime he could give the impression that he had already overcome his grief and pain;  
  
only a very attentive beholder could see the truth mirrored in his eyes.  
  
But at night, we he lay like this on the bed in his sparely furnitured apartment, hoping to get a little  
  
sleep, pretending time was over.  
  
Nothing had changed since the day his two most beloved persons had vanished out of his life.  
  
Turnaround   
  
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round  
  
Turnaround   
  
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears  
  
Turnaround   
  
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by  
  
It is said that time heals all wounds, but the people who believed in this surely had never known  
  
what it meant for a person to loose the most treasured things in his life.  
  
What it meant to loose the half of his existence and his whole heart.  
  
Subaru closed his eyes, fighting a silent war against the memories that haunted him in every  
  
moment of his life, but losing eventually.  
  
oxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  
  
Cherry blossoms, beautiful yet deceptive dance carelessly in the wind.  
  
Crimson blood covers the earth, soiling the carpet of pale pink petals.  
  
His name, called with the last breath of a young life that is irretrievably lost.  
  
A smile in the darkness. Two mismatched eyes. So beautiful, so disdainful, so cold.  
  
Turnaround  
  
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes  
  
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart  
  
Subaru sat up in bed, startled.   
  
It was useless. He would not find any rest tonight. Not tonight and maybe never again.  
  
First he had to reach his goal, to have his wish fulfilled.  
  
Crossing the room Subaru came to an halt by the big windows who showed a wonderful view over  
  
the city.  
  
Tokyo, modern Babylon, proud and ignorant in it's hubris. The hunting ground of the  
  
Sakurazukamori.  
  
A faint spark of determination lit up in Subaru's gray-green eyes.  
  
Tonight the hunter would become the hunted.  
  
Turnaround   
  
Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild  
  
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms  
  
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry   
  
Ice-cold wind haunted the streets and let Subaru's coat flutter behind him like a pair of white wings.  
  
But the young man didn't mind the cold. His single-minded steps were guided only by the faint glow  
  
of the twin pentagrams on the back of his hands.  
  
The ineradicable signs of the Sakurazukamori, the symbol of their bond.  
  
The one searched for couldn't be far. Subaru had never managed to get so near. Did he want to be  
  
found?  
  
Suddenly the young man looked up.  
  
The illuminated streets were gone. A void darkness had expanded around him.  
  
Without realizing he had entered the very realm of the Sakurazukamori: an illusion.  
  
And out of the nothing a huge, ancient tree showed itself before Subaru. Covered with rosy snow its  
  
branches reached endlessly high into the artificial sky. Thousands of tender blossom petals silently   
  
rained down on Subaru.   
  
But even if he had bothered to extend his hand to catch one of them, it would have disappeared  
  
immediately. Because they were nothing but an illusion.  
  
Intently staring into the darkness Subaru finally recognized a tall figure in a black trenchcoat,  
  
leaning nonchalantly against the tree trunk.  
  
The wonderful, void smile was the same as ever, like the eyes.   
  
One of it was the colour of gold, lit up with an uncanny glimmer that made it not entirely human,  
  
but that of a predatory animal about to pounce on its prey. The other was milky-white like a frozen  
  
lake, and exactly as indifferent and empty.  
  
Both of them blind in their own way.  
  
Because none of them saw Subaru.  
  
The one eye capable of seeing beheld only a pretty crystal, that surprisingly only got a crack, but did  
  
not break entirely, as its owner had dropped it carelessly.  
  
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes  
  
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart  
  
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart   
  
Subaru clenched his fists and tried to regain his regular breath.  
  
"Subaru-kun", said the figure in front of him and smiled, pretending that their last meeting hadn't  
  
been many years and countless cried tears ago.   
  
The Sakurazukamori reached into his pocket and retrieved a cigarette. In the next moment Subaru  
  
was beside him and gave him a light.  
  
Again that smile, providing fake safeness.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
The young man intended to pull his hand with the lighter away, but a lightning-fast grip held him  
  
back.  
  
And I need you now tonight  
  
And I need you more than ever  
  
And if you'll only hold me tight  
  
We'll be holding on forever  
  
And we'll only be making it right  
  
Cause we'll never be wrong together  
  
We can take it to the end of the line  
  
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time  
  
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark  
  
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks  
  
I really need you tonight  
  
Forever's gonna start tonight  
  
Forever's gonna start tonight  
  
Insecurity, fear and anger flashed across Subaru's features, as his knuckles were almost touched by  
  
the other man's lips, but he let it happen.  
  
"Is that your lighter?", the hunter whispered. "So you started smoking?"  
  
Sudden burning anger caught Subaru at this question, and he pulled his hand back.  
  
Why did he ask, although he didn't care at all?  
  
A smirk graced the Sakurazukamori's face.  
  
"You know that it's bad for your health."  
  
Incapable of listening any longer to this nonchalant, easy voice Subaru took a few steps back.  
  
"I've searched for you for a very long time", he said softly, his eyes not leaving the person in front of  
  
him even for a second, "because I want to see my wish fulfilled."  
  
Once upon a time I was falling in love  
  
But now I'm only falling apart  
  
There's nothing I can do  
  
A total eclipse of the heart  
  
Once upon a time there was light in my life  
  
But now there's only love in the dark  
  
Nothing I can say  
  
A total eclipse of the heart  
  
Faint surprise ghosted over the dark hunter's attractive features, while he took a drag from his  
  
cigarette.  
  
"Is that so? I assume that your wish is to kill me, because I was the one that killed your beloved  
  
sister. You're so cute, Subaru-kun!"  
  
Subaru's jet-black eyebrows furrowed like the dark clouds of an approaching thunderstorm.   
  
But his decision was made. He wouldn't change his mind.  
  
With closed eyes he began to whisper a spell and pulled some ofuda out of the pocket of his coat.  
  
In the next moment these were thrown at his opponent, turning into white birds as they flew.  
  
Immediately the Sakurazukamori drew a glowing pentagram in the air in front of him, and the  
  
shikigami rebound on it without doing any harm. Then he lifted his hand and blasted a shock wave  
  
against the young man.  
  
Subaru sent a last prayer to every god known to man and didn't evade the blow.  
  
A huge explosion shook the artificial world around the two.  
  
Cherry blossoms whirled up and finally settled on an unmoving figure lying on the ground.  
  
The dark onmyouji smiled and threw away his cigarette.  
  
"If you really want to kill me, you have to put a little bit more effort in it, Subaru-kun."  
  
No reaction.  
  
Moments passed. Finally two black, immaculately polished shoes treaded over the carpet of   
  
blossoms. The dark hunter kneed beside the young man to make sure that he was only unconscious.  
  
With a mockingly tender gesture he stroked lightly over the pale face.  
  
A second later two green eyes looked at him. They were veiled with pain, but illuminated  
  
with desperate determination.  
  
Turnaround bright eyes  
  
Subaru's slim hands, branded with the Sakurazukamori's seal, closed over hands twice their size  
  
with surprising strength.   
  
Almost inaudible words of an ancient spell rose into the air, covering the black-clad man who tried  
  
too late to evade their grip.  
  
With all his remaining power Subaru concentrated on the spell, knowing that he wouldn't get a  
  
second chance.  
  
The dancing cherry blossom petals around him seemed to become paler as they were drained of all  
  
colour. The ancient tree's branches moved silently as floods of crimson blood welled out of it's bark.  
  
Subaru held onto the other man's hand even tighter, unblinkingly fixating the mismatched eyes' gaze,  
  
that showed genuine startlement.  
  
"You think that you know me, Seishirou-san", the white onmyouji whispered, but his voice was easily  
  
heard over the storm of blossoms. "But you are wrong. You know nothing."  
  
Again painful reminiscences washed over Subaru's mind, but he didn't try to oppress them. Not at  
  
all.  
  
"Let me show you!"  
  
Turnaround   
  
Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be  
  
Turnaround   
  
But every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am  
  
Turnaround  
  
Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wondrous as you  
  
Turnaround  
  
Every now and then I know there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do  
  
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart  
  
Pale pink petals. A scream. Blood.  
  
Endless pain, anger and grief.  
  
Self-accusations, the torturing thought that it was all alone his fault.  
  
Self-hatred, because he had been so blind and naïve in his trusting.  
  
Endless days and nights of wandering around like the lost soul that he was, not knowing if life still  
  
held any meaning for him.  
  
Insomnia, nightmares, loneliness, memories.  
  
Pain and grief and a deep regret, a vague wish for being able to forgive, a silly hope for a new  
  
beginning.  
  
Doubts and fears.  
  
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart  
  
And at last the revelation that there was no other way.  
  
No other way than to face his destiny again.  
  
Eternity seemed to have passed.  
  
Subaru let go of Seishirou's hand. The man stumbled backwards and ran a trembling hand over his  
  
eyes.  
  
"What... what have you done?", he asked in disbelieve.  
  
The young man tried to stand up, but the spell had taken all of his remaining strength.  
  
"Not more or less than you have done to me, Seishirou-san", he answered softly. "I just let you look  
  
inside my heart."  
  
Seishirou stared at him.  
  
"It... hurts", he murmured. "What is it?"  
  
And I need you now tonight  
  
And I need you more than ever  
  
And if you'll only hold me tight  
  
Well be holding on forever  
  
Slowly Subaru crawled to Seishirou's side and bent over him.  
  
"This feeling is called love, Seishirou-san", he breathed, and despite his exhaustion he lay a hand  
  
on Seishirou's cheek and gave him a feather-light kiss on the mouth.  
  
"And for this time... I'll let you go."  
  
And we'll only be making it right  
  
Cause we'll never be wrong together  
  
We can take it to the end of the line  
  
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time  
  
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark  
  
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks  
  
I really need you tonight  
  
Once again white blossoms whirled up and veiled the light an the dark figure completely from sight.  
  
Forever's gonna start tonight  
  
oxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  
  
With a jolt Subaru sat up in bed and pushed a few black strands out of his sweat-covered forehead.   
  
Heavily breathing he sat there for a few seconds and stared into the darkness of his room, trying to  
  
calm his painfully fast pounding heart.  
  
Once again it had only been a dream.  
  
But it had been different from the usual ones.  
  
Slowly Subaru got out of bed and went to the window, looking out at the nighttime city's silhouette.   
  
Somewhere out there was the dark hunter, stalking his prey.  
  
Tonight blood would be shed again. And some person would be able to see in his last moments of  
  
life the Sakurazukamori's wonderful smile and cold burning eyes.  
  
And it would not be Sumeragi Subaru.  
  
Leaning his forehead against the cool window glass, the young man stared silently out... and started.  
  
For the fracture of a second he believed that he had seen a white cherry blossom petal falling from  
  
the sky. But as more and more white spots rained from the heavens, he realized that they were just the  
  
first snowflakes in this year. Soon they would cover the city like a white, cold, indiffenent cloth.  
  
But as white as the snow was, it wouldn't be able to change the darkness that was all around.  
  
Once upon a time I was falling in love  
  
But now I'm only falling apart  
  
Nothing I can do  
  
A total eclipse of the heart  
  
Once upon a time there was light in my life  
  
But now there's only love in the dark  
  
Nothing I can say  
  
A total eclipse of the heart  
  
OWARI 


End file.
